Day 6: #TheSW30

If that is not a movie title, it’s a lie… if I had the love life that I want; I would be blogging about happily ever after. That just sounded like a bitter single woman but what can I say, writing about all those misconceptions kinda got to me… All I am thinking right now is, how in a perfect world me and my imperfect perfect man will be star gazing right now but no I am not. Instead I am sitting here wishing for the love life that I want.

But come to think of it, that statement can be very true hey… like it’s all about the time and place, God’s timing. I painted my Monalisa down to the number of teeth the smile will show off but all I can do is ask God to grant me my Monalisa. As I type this I have faith like a little child, faith that one day when God has prepared me enough I will have the exact love life that I want. Work in progress…

Day 5: #TheSW30

I think people believe that being single is equal to being sad and also equal to being free. Yes, math never made sense to me too but there is no freedom in sadness boo boo. In my equation being single is one of those equations with a positive and a negative before a number. This is so because it’s a personal journey that we all take differently and some take it very well. I have days, days where I just want to be held, days when my friend’s reassurance about life does not make sense. Days when I just need that manly touch and that deep sexy voice telling me that all will be well. On the other hand, I have days when being single makes sense… days when there is nothing lacking, when I am enough for myself. When I actually allow God to be my strength and refuge. The same way relationships have good and bad days. Being single does not equal to sad sad sad. So get off your high horse you who has been in a crappy relationship thinking it is all gloomy out here. There is a rose garden too boo…

The other thing is this thing that I have options as a single woman… well sisi, do you think if I had that much of an option I will be single? Kk am getting a little bit emotional now, but but but???? You get??? Another thing that gets to me is that just because I am single I should not have an opinion on love and relationships. I don’t know how to justify this without sounding bitter but I know you get me…

Day 4: #TheSW30

By far my biggest fear is being single forever... That sounds politically right???? Or maybe ending up with Mr Wrong... that works too right????

Allow me to be painfully honest on this one, my biggest fear is meeting the guy and it makes sense but my past, the things I have been through will force him to walk away. Yes there is this thing that your person will love everything  about you … but but but I just can’t get over the fact that the decisions I made when I was ‘young and reckless’ will forever haunt me no matter how much I repent. Call me a lady of little faith but you asked about my biggest fear and there you have it… I could keep going around this mountain (yes it is that big) but that’s it in a few words but meaning volumes in my world!!!

Day3: #TheSW30

155 days ago was that day, the day I realised that yes, I was single and all the reasons I was happy and content in that place. I had one of those days where i felt the need to inspire one or two girls that you will never walk alone...  On that day I wrote this note;

If you are still holding on to a guy who treats you like such crap in the name of love, let go for goodness sake! Pain is not love! Go back to the basics and redefine love! You can not stick around because he is what you are familiar to, there is no growth there! Go out there and yoke yourself with a person who believes in the love that you believe in, the crucifixion type of love, a person who will challenge you to be the best you can ever be. A person whose heart breaks when yours break!

When and if you let go, remember that: yes we have all been hurt but guess what you can not whine all your life you need to get to a point where you just let go and let God. Yes there is time for the tears and mucus and stuff but at some point it should all end so you can face life with your head held high as though you are nose bleeding! Free yourself ladies and lean on God!

There is a God built guy out there who just wants you to open up so he can make you his bride! A guy who will put Cinderella out of business! Don't limit God, tell him exactly what you want in a guy and trust me your knight will show up! Embrace the love of Jesus so you know what love feels like!

 

Day 2: #TheSW30

Everyone who knows me well knows that I love to smile and it’s by far the hardest thing to get off my face. Oh no, there was a day when the only thing fake about me was my smile and on that day all odds just seemed like they were against me, like everywhere I looked, like literally everywhere, there was a couple all happy and smiles. What made it worse is I got a phone call from a friend telling me that she was happy with her boyfriend for a year now. Don’t get it twisted I am happy for my friend. She hit jackpot when it comes to men (men lottery lol, thank God I don’t gamble hahaha) kk got side tracked for a second there. The conversation that my friend intended to be beautiful and all the lovie dovie cute nunu stuff ended up being very emotionally taxing! I managed to listen through the whole 13 minutes 7 seconds as any friend would, but many different feelings were attacking my heart left, right and every other vessel. On this day I was actually tempted to mention Vodacom on twitter and thank them for their crappy network because it worked in my favour.

I sat on my bed after this heartfelt conversation and I started reminiscing about my past relationships and realised that yes some lasted for three years but was I as happy and content my friend sounded? I cried and started blaming every possible thing that I could think of that made my relationships fail. I don’t know how I fell asleep but I woke up knowing that the day being single sucked had ended!

Day 1: #TheSW30

Single is a state of being without a +1 apparently, oh is it really?? A state of being lonely, mmm maybe that sounds a bit accurate? No wait, its a phase in one’s life when they decide to take time out and do some self-discovery.  A phase when an individual decides that they are just too fabulous to settle. Or maybe it is because you are just unattractive, hard to love maybe??? Everyone has a reason for being alone; I swear you hear a different reason every day. The only sad part is that people who ask you why you are single interpret it in their own way… but who cares what people think?

Just between me and you; we care too much about what people say. If you tell people that you are single because you haven’t found the right guy, you get responses like…. Mmm maybe you are not right for anyone, implying that there is something wrong with you hey. If you say you are all about team Jesus and you don’t want anything to distract your gaze, people call you all sorts of things hey. Why are you still single they keep asking???? My response to this famous question is, “why do you keep asking if my response will never satisfy you?” Allow me to be single and be patient while I wait on God. I sure will inform you when my status changes.

Wow, i had a blog!!!

I never thought in a million years i was going to blog and allow the world to get into my world… I mean I am not even on facebook, but here i am… I guess stranger things have happened right?

A few days ago my sister challenged me into joining the Single Woman 30day blog challenge and while i was setting up i realised i actually had a blog and i actually posted something... Impressive Peppsi!!!

Lets get started!!!